


Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Cheating, Domestic Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26895700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: There are things that both Rin and Maki find desirable about each other. The only problem is that they aren't in a relationship.
Relationships: Hoshizora Rin/Koizumi Hanayo, Hoshizora Rin/Nishikino Maki, Nishikino Maki/Yazawa Nico
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a ficlet prompt I wrote back on 12/17/2015, and nearly five years later decided to expand into a full (nsfw) fic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPpbA4zru1o

When Rin heard a knock at her door, she didn't have to check to know who it was. It was a Wednesday morning, and she had just finished her indoor workout. Hanayo was at her restaurant, so she wouldn't be coming back home so soon after leaving. None of her other friends had made mention that they were coming over. That left only one person who would knock on her door unannounced on a weekday morning. She wiped a few beads of sweat off her forehead, her stomach already beginning to twist into a familiar knot.

Opening the door, she wasn't surprised to find Maki standing there, a blank expression on her face. Internally she cringed at the sad state Maki was in. Her normally flawless hair was a complete mess, tousled like she'd been in a windstorm. An outstretched hand proved that the air was still, though. Worse, the scratches up and down her arms were way too noticeable. A lump formed in her throat at the sight of a nasty-looking shiner beneath Maki's left eye, but honestly she had seen Maki look worse. Still, she had to stop herself from gawking and let Maki inside. She accepted the invitation wordlessly.

"So, uh, rough day?" Maki laughed humorously, shrugging as she went over to the couch. She flopped down on it like she owned it, and Rin meekly sat down by her feet. Seeing Maki lying there in rough shape was distressingly familiar. This same scene had played itself out five times in that year alone, and she found herself unable to swallow down that lump knowing it was about to become a sixth.

They had been friends during high school, but their communication became sparser once university started. Now they were both adults, and had found themselves drawn together again by different needs. They were still friends, first and foremost. The two of them spent time together with their respective wives, as well as the rest of their high school friends. However, having Maki around when there were other people made her feel an intense amount of guilt, because she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about how the two of them were doing something wrong behind the scenes.

As it turned out, they both ended up in relationships that weren't suiting their needs. Simply put, Rin's was going too slow, and Maki's was going too fast. Somehow the two of them had ended up finding a perfect balance with each other. It was a guilt-ridden, worrisome balance, but a balance nonetheless.

"Hey, Maki? Maybe you should speak to someone professionally about this." Rin was sure she was shouldering most of the guilt. It wasn't that her relationship was bad. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Hanayo, and they still loved each other. Things were just moving too slow for her, and she struggled to get Hanayo on the same pace as her. Her entire life had been about moving quickly and getting things done, but that had never been Hanayo's speed. She had known that there would be sacrifices when it came to marrying Hanayo, but she had been willing to make it work because she loved her and had never thought of a life where she wasn't in it.

As horrible as it sounded, she had just ended up finding herself at her wit's end when it came to Hanayo's mental issues. She was the sweetest woman on Earth, but she was constantly drowning in anxieties and panic attacks. No matter how many times Rin had tried to reassure her that she was perfect, Hanayo never seemed to be able to take the compliments in stride. Not for long, anyway. She only seemed to be able to feel somewhat at ease when it came to her restaurant, and that was where she spent more time, leaving Rin to her own devices with her workout instructions. If only she could work out a better way of getting what she wanted.

"As if," Maki snorted, sitting up and laying an arm across the back of the couch. "You think Little Miss Perfect would be caught dead talking to someone about her problems?" That was how she and Maki had ended up in their mutual mess. After weeks of struggling with her libido and her guilt, she knew she needed to confide in someone, and she somehow came to the conclusion that Maki was the one she needed to speak with. In her mind, she figured that Maki could both keep a secret and set her back on the path of the straight and narrow.

As it turned out, she wasn't alone in her relationship troubles. Maki's own marriage was rocky, which was putting it mildly. Her courtship of a famous singer was a whirlwind affair, at least to those who were in the know. That famous singer, Nico Yazawa, was an idol, and relationships were strictly forbidden in that industry. However, the two of them apparently came to know each other as Maki was moonlighting as a studio musician, and they hit it off well. The whole 'idols can't be in relationships' thing was well-known within Japan, and Rin was sure that Maki wasn't ignorant of that fact. She just wished she knew more of what made Maki throw caution to the wind and get secretly married before she was out of university. 

Through the first several years of their marriage, Rin knew very little about what went on. While she, Hanayo, and their high school friend Honoka were the only three to know about the marriage, they had all been sworn to secrecy, and weren't told much afterwards. However, little things began to seep out in conversation that made Rin wonder if the two of them had ever been compatible. Eventually, when she came clean with her own issues, Maki seemed to feel more comfortable spilling the beans as well.

"Is she ever going to come clean with the fact that the two of you are married?" From what Maki told her, the arguing had started before they even said 'I do'. Eventually their verbal fights became physical, and the little scratches and bruises she had noticed on Maki in passing became uncomfortably clear. She had initially been appalled when she found out, seeing the souvenirs of that day's brawl on Maki when she'd show up at her door. By now, however, she was mostly numb to it.

"She said she would when her idol career came to an end. 'Idols have an expiration date, Maki. I have to use every second of time I have in this industry.' That was supposed to be _this_ year." Maki took on a high-pitched mocking tone that was actually a good impression of her wife. Apparently the sex was good, but that was _all_ that was good about their relationship. Maki had admitted to her that the constant arguing and fights - both verbal and physical - that they got into, as well as the lonely nights at the hospital knowing Nico would be on tour for another two weeks, were getting to her.

They both were unhappy for different reasons, but neither of them were willing to change their lives, for better or worse. She didn't want to hurt Hanayo, as 'too late for that' as it was, and she kept wishing that she could break away from the sinful cycle the two of them had created. Her body just didn't seem to care, as it craved the hot and fast way that Maki performed in the bedroom. As for Maki, she couldn't seem to detach herself from the violent and perverse Stockholm Syndrome she was living in. Nothing Rin said would ever change her mind, so she had stopped trying. She knew she needed to keep trying, though, because the longer they let themselves be trapped in their issues, the longer they would continue to hurt themselves and their partners.

"Maki, I think we-" She tried to voice her concerns again, she really did. Maki hadn't come there to debate the issues with what they were doing, though. She'd known that, but she hadn't realized she couldn't get _anything_ out before she was cut off by a heavy, desperate kiss. Her attempt at pulling away was foiled by Maki, who made a fist in the back of her hair and kept her close. The taste of tomatoes and tears was now on her lips, and she couldn't stop herself from kissing her back.

She hated when Maki cried. Besides the fact that she never wanted to see anyone close to her cry, seeing her strong, stubborn friend breaking down made her feel protective, and that made it much harder to stop making the same mistakes. "Maki, we... we need to talk!" She forced herself away from Maki, having to push on her shoulders to pry herself from Maki's lips. Seeing the pain and hurt in her eyes made her heart start to crack.

"I don't want to talk," Maki responded gruffly, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. She made that perfectly clear by forcing herself onto Rin again. This time, it was even harder for her to push away. Despite the tears, Maki was a damn good kisser, and she made Rin feel things just from that that she hadn't felt in a long time. Her body betrayed her, tiny moans escaping her throat as she wrapped her arms around Maki's shoulders.

"We need to," she moaned unconvincingly, able to speak again when Maki's lips moved down to her neck. Her body shook as she felt Maki's tongue come out, licking across her sweat-stained throat. It wasn't right, but it felt like it. "We... We can't do this anymore. This is wrong. You know it's wrong. _I_ know it's wrong." There was no need for her to beat a dead horse, but they kept trying to ride the damn thing. They both knew it was wrong: neither of them were that naive, nor were they sociopathic. They still participated in it, though: willing lovers in a mutually-sordid affair.

"I need you." Rather than responding, Maki went straight for the emotional appeal. Her voice had a pleading tone to it as she grabbed Rin's arms, tugging her back into a kiss. "I don't want to go home," she whispered in between frantic kisses. "I don't want to go home." Hearing that tore Rin's heart in half. It was already a struggle to deny what her body wanted, but Maki seemed to always accidentally stumble into exactly what made her unable to leave.

"Then leave her for me." That stopped both of them in their tracks. Her eyes widened as she realized what she said. How could she even think of dangling such an opportunity in front of Maki? She knew Maki needed to leave Nico: they weren't good for each other. That didn't mean the two of them could end up together, though. She wasn't going to leave Hanayo.

"I can't..." Maki was clearly getting frustrated with how things were going. She had wanted to come over and forget everything, getting lost in Rin's warm embrace, but Rin wasn't allowing that to happen. No matter how many times her body betrayed her, she kept piping up like an annoying cat that wanted to be fed an hour early. That didn't stop Maki from trying to shut her up with kisses.

"Why not?" She felt like her lips - the lower ones, that is - were screaming at her to shut up. It had been weeks since she'd had spine-tingling sex, and Maki was begging her to take it. She just couldn't let up, though. It was the last vestiges of her morals keeping her from completely falling off the edge.

"I..." Maki finally let go of Rin and gripped the hem of her skirt, looking down at her knees. "I just can't." She shook her head hard, making her already-crazed hair wave about. "I love her, Rin. I do." She didn't sound convincing, and neither of them seemed to believe the words coming out of her mouth. "So I can't leave. I just... need an escape." She put her hand on Rin's wrist, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Shit, Maki..." How was she supposed to deny her when she was looking at her like that? When Maki next leaned in, she shamefully met her in the middle. They were kissing again, but it felt more powerful, more heated. Their hands were all over each other, grabbing their clothes as if they wanted to just rip them off. For a few moments, Rin's brain just shut off. This was what kept her going to bed with Maki despite every moral fiber of her being telling her not to: the frantic, exciting pace that she didn't get elsewhere.

They were pulling each other's shirts off, then their pants, with Maki's skirt being much easier to remove than Rin's jeans. Maki was on top of her, pushing her back down into the couch. The cushions were getting moved out of place, but neither of them cared. She was drinking in Maki's form as she laid above her, holding herself up with one palm on the back of the couch and the other against her bare shoulder. Seeing Maki looked down at her as well, so _lustfully_ , made heat instantly pool in her loins.

"Maki, we-" She was shut up with a kiss, which was all for the better. Her hesitation would only be half-hearted, and she would just embarrass herself trying to stop them again. They were both terrible, but at least they were terrible together. That was the way she tried to justify herself in her mind as she allowed Maki to remove her underwear, bearing everything to a woman who wasn't her wife.

She silently removed Maki's underwear as well, taking one last hasty look at the door. Hanayo wasn't coming back anytime soon. She knew that, but... Her thoughts got jumbled and she moaned as Maki bit down on her neck, slipping two fingers into her all-too-eager snatch. "Don't leave a mark," she whimpered, getting a quick grunt of acknowledgement from Maki. How had she let herself become like this?

She moaned and bucked her hips as Maki fingered her, pressing her chest against Maki's. From her position, she couldn't properly return the favor, so she let Maki rub against her leg and get it wet with her juices. Maki's fingers moved inside of her expertly, knowing the proper speed to go and the right places to hit. She didn't have to tell her to go faster or do this or that: it was as if the two of them were truly in sync with one another.

She sighed as Maki ran her fingers through her hair. She had been growing it out, which was something she had never done until recently. It was because of Maki, who had said she would look pretty with her hair down to shoulder length. At first she hadn't even realized she was doing it. When Hanayo asked her about it, she just said she was trying out a new look. The truth was a lot harder to admit.

"Maki, I..." She was torn between saying 'I think we need to stop' and 'I think I'm gonna cum.' It turned out that she didn't need to say either. Both of them already knew the right thing would be to stop, but they had passed that bar a long time ago. As for the fact that she was about to cum, Maki could probably tell by the way her body was shaking beneath her.

She let it all out in her orgasm, moaning and screaming _Maki's_ name. Maki wasn't Hanayo, but those differences drew her in like a moth to a porch light. There was always a rush of excitement that came with being with Maki, and the orgasms she had were the most powerful she could ever remember having. She'd see stars, and she'd see Maki's beautiful face in the middle of all those stars: blackened eye and all.

Her body kept shaking as she watched Maki pull her fingers out, seductively licking her juices off of them. It made her let out a tiny whimper of a moan, letting both of them know she wasn't going anywhere. When Maki laid down on the couch, lifting a leg on the back and letting the other lay off the edge, she got between them without a noise of complaint. Maki had helped her out, and it was only fair that she reciprocate.

The only place her guilt subsided was between Maki's legs. Down there, every sensation and every thought was about the beautiful woman squeezing her head with her thighs. She was attuned to every sound Maki made: her pants, which would start low but pick up in register the more her tongue would lash around her clit. Her breathy cries when Rin hit the perfect spot with her tongue. The quiet urging of a desperate woman as she would tug hard on her hair. Maki didn't treat her like a friend: she treated her like a _lover_ , and she was addicted to it.

When she was between Maki's legs, she could act like someone she didn't otherwise get to be. She'd feast on Maki in an avarascious manner, but she always found room to tease her. She'd still her tongue, looking up at Maki with playful eyes until her frustrated friend would shove her face back into her cunt, with her nose being driven into her clit. "Don't stop," she moaned in annoyance, yanking on Rin's hair to let her know she meant business. "Don't you _dare_ stop!"

She never did. Her tongue only stilled when she was teasing: otherwise she was in constant motion. Maki embraced it, scratching at her scalp and voicing her pleasure in ways that might make a sailor blush. She didn't like to say it otherwise, but she had a _filthy_ mouth, and it turned Rin on. It made her do whatever she could to get Maki to keep saying those things until she became locked in an orgasm and couldn't speak anymore.

They both laid on the couch together, basking in the glows of their respective orgasms. Maki had her head on the armrest, staring at the door upside down, while Rin had her cheek pressed against Maki's right thigh. Now that Maki's orgasm had come and gone, she was left with the usual sick sense of shame doing a number on her stomach. At some point she had actually begun to cry, tears leaking onto Maki's skin, but Maki either didn't notice or wasn't about to bring it up.

Eventually, Maki broke the silence. "Do you want to get lunch? My treat." She nudged Rin off of her thigh, standing up to grab the roll of paper towels from the kitchen. Rin watched her go, biting her lip as she watched her perfect ass sway from side to side. It would be a lot easier to deny her base urges if Maki wasn't so gods damn attractive.

"I... Yeah, sure." She sighed in defeat, head down as Maki came back with the paper towels. Ripping a couple of them off, she started to clean herself off, throwing the roll over to Rin. She wasn't watching it, so it bonked her on the head and rolled away from her. That made her look up quick enough to see Maki roll her eyes and kick the roll back to her. She got a hand on it that time, ripping off a couple of her own to clean up the shame.

While the two of them put their clothes back on, Rin felt like she was about to throw up. How many times was she going to betray her wife in their own house? It was all her fault. If Hanayo found out... She looked closely at the couch, making sure there wasn't a stain left behind on the cushions. Then she hurried into the bathroom, looking all over her body for any markings Maki might have left. She had left the door open, allowing Maki to come in and wrap her up in a hug.

"I missed you so much, Rin. Thinking about coming to visit you got me through the past two days." She squeezed Rin tightly, a rare gesture that she didn't even see Maki do with Nico. "Why don't you come visit me this weekend? Nico won't be home, so we'll have the house to ourselves. We can do whatever we want." She seemed to be smiling genuinely, but the implications were clear.

"Maki, I don't know..." She tried to be responsible. She tried to be a good person, but who was she kidding? Thinking about spending a day at Maki's gorgeous house, having free reign to run around naked and get busy with Maki in every conceivable spot in the house, was an unbearable turn on. She could say 'I'm sorry' to Hanayo in her brain all she wanted, but that would never absolve the guilt crusting around her heart. "Can... Can I control the jets in the pool this time?"

"Of course." Maki laughed, the first real, happy sound either of them had made that didn't involve moaning. "I really did miss you, Rin." She laid her chin on Rin's shoulder, closing her eyes and gently rocking her in her arms. Rin sighed, running a hand through her hair before she hugged Maki back. They both wanted what was going to happen, just as they had wanted what had just happened, and what had happened in the past year. Knowing it was wrong didn't make her a better person. She was just the absolute worst, but she just could never deny the desires that the beast inside her required.

"I missed you too, Maki. So much..."


End file.
